The Grief No One Talks About: Termination for Medical Reasons

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, a time when we hold space for families grieving babies that were gone too soon. Every perinatal loss is significant, regardless of the gestational age or circumstance. There is a kind of loss that often goes unacknowledged: ending a wanted pregnancy because of a serious medical diagnosis in either mom or baby.

Termination for medical reasons (TFMR) happens when parents learn, often at a routine scan or through genetic testing, that their baby has a condition that is life-limiting, or that mom’s health or life may be seriously impacted by continuing to carry a pregnancy.

A loss with extra layers

Like any perinatal loss, TFMR is traumatic, and brings on feelings of grief, depression, and anxiety. However, a TFMR may often carry burdens that other losses don't.

An impossible decision. Despite the logistics and guidance from medical providers, many parents sit with guilt, shame, and second-guessing.

Disenfranchised grief. Many parents feel that they cannot grieve their loss openly. They may not share with loved ones for fear of judgement. As a result, parents grieve without support.

Isolation. Parents may not fit neatly into miscarriage or stillbirth loss spaces, further isolating their experience.

If this is your story

There is no timeline for this kind of grief, and there is no “right” path forward or way to commemorate the loss.

Your grief is real and valid. You are not alone, even if it feels that way. At Sana Psychotherapy, we honor every perinatal loss and hold space for the families managing the complex feelings and uncertain future.

Our TFMR Support Circle is currently recruiting group members.